I had a great conversation with a dear friend yesterday who revealed something to me which made that light go off above my head and i thought wow that is truly inspiring and why does no one else consider this instead of tolerating second best. The conversation was about me attracting friends who overstep my boundaries and make me feel useless and emotionally drained. My answer was i was trying to help them and my friend said to me look at he common thread here you always help emotionally vulnerable who give nothing back. Now at work that's fine because i help and get paid for lending them a hand but when it's not work related it sinks you down and make you feel worthless. So with that conversation it got me thinking what do we really need in our own lives to enhance and improve it. The answer is quite simple to be challenged and strive for a better tomorrow than the good today. if you look at the natural world and all the living orgasm within it. How did they survive all this time? But adapting to there surroundings and being themselves not being something they are not. Do you think a lion has remorse for killing a antelope? No. Because that's how it survives. Now i am not saying do anything that drastic because that's wrong. The point i am making to be a better person you must be challenged to be that better person that's were your friends come in. In any social circle there has to be differences and also the ability to accept this simple premise. I have in my past like everything one else been surrounded by users and abusers and as you know it's tiring. So the solution is to delve within yourself and ask. Do these friends make me better or worse. If the answer is worse. Why do you allow that to happen as life is complicated enough with our own path why complicate it with gossip, rumours and downright negative people. I always say we have to walk our own path with our own steps. if your true friends want to be a part of it let them come to them and encourage you to achieve that goal not be surrounded by people who put limits on you and plant the seeds of doubt. I always say the best people to have in your life are the people who believe in you, who disagree with you, who challenge you but most importantly will always be there for you. So Dr R. I love you from the bottom of my heart for being so patient with me and spurring me on to better things. The last eight years were vital for both of us to get to this stage and here is to many more years of ups, downs, tears, tantrums and most of all respect.
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Now the Easter festival is a truly wonderful time but also a very confusing one because not matter who you ask no one understands where it comes from and what the symbols actually mean. You know the eggs, chicks, lambs and the rolling of your egg down a hill. Now this festival moves every year because a simple astrological event happen in skies above us. Good Friday and Easter Sunday always comes after the Paschal Moon. Now a Paschal Moon is a term coming from Hebrew meaning passover which symbolises the passover from winter (death) to spring (rebirth or new born). This event means the first full ecclesiastical moon in the Northern spring skies. The symbols of the egg, chicks and lambs is unfortunately a little bit rude i am afraid so sorry for the rudeness. They come from the word Ishtar who is a fertility goddess coming from Assyrian and Babylonian traditions. So these symbols represent sex, conception and ultimately birth something which has been lost to modern civilisation. Now the rolling off the egg down the hill comes from the much later Catholic tradition of the time when the two Mary's found the tomb of Jesus and rolled back the door to uncover the empty tomb after Jesus's 'crucifixion' (That's a story for another time) So people what you are celebrating is the birth of a fresh new year where the whole of nature comes alive after the death and harshness of the winter. Now go and enjoy your Easter. Speak later.
In my life i have always felt inadequate around others because i am a hypersensitive and always felt i was different which took me years to come to terms with and now i have i love it and i look back at some of the things i have done in my life i ask myself why did i waste so much time trying to be something i am not and please everyone else in the attempt to make me feel valued and that i belong. It was the stupidest thing i have ever done. i lost sight and track of me and where i was going. I was lied to, used, manipulated and hurt because i believed that's what friendships were all about. Boy was i wrong. Since i learnt to accept me for who i am i have no desire to please others. What i do is do what i do and let people come around me and go from there. The sorest point is other people's lies. We all get lied to because the other person is unhappy with a part of there own lives and as a result they live there lie which is not your lie. Learn and understand this. When you are lied to is there issue not yours. You are not the one living a lie you can walk away no harm done because you are a bigger person who has no need to lie. With awareness there comes a freedom within your mind which can isolate you from the outside life (this is no bad thing but just remember we need to not get lost within this internal world) When we find our inner peace we will never require validation from others at all. We are able to be SELF everything in what we do. When this is achieved we raise our vibrational frequency thus encouraging people with the same vibrational frequency making our lives so much easier. There is a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt . Great minds discuss ideas, Average minds discuss events and Small minds discuss people. What a quote and this is what i am trying to convey here with people pleasers it's the same concept because small minds can't dream or manifest there dreams because they have no faith within themselves which in my mind is the greatest miscarriage of your talents ever. Look are what your strengths are more importantly identify your own weaknesses and work own them because people can only hurt you by exposing your weaknesses. We now live in a world were social media rules the opinions of the masses which is a very dangerous thing because the human mind is the most powerful yet underused tool we have at our disposal. Why does some random celebrity, some fake friend who just uses you or a work colleague have such a hold on you taking away your own opinion to make there truth seem so tempting to you? Your truth is what you should be striving towards. It's brutal having to look at yourself and see what you are good at but believe me when you get there it's magical and makes you feel so much happier but people give up that because it's against what your pals says. Tough. Follow your own path, instincts and intuition because they will never let you down where as humans do.
This is a topic very close to my heart because being a hyper sensitive and very aware i sense, see and feel energies that people can't. This is a subject that every person in the planet has encountered in the life time whether that's a family member. parent, friend or colleague. These people are very creditable on the surface and very plausible in all there actions gaining your trust and confidence but once you are sucked in the whole relationship is dictated by them and leaving you feeling numb, drained and totally pissed off yet you can't figure out why. The key for prevention is very simple. Place very strict boundaries in place in which you do not bend on any way, shape or form but i will discuss that later on.
No the key things you will be dealing with here is a combination of different factors. Phone etiquette. Don't you ever call or text someone and they just don't bother responding? When asked they say oh i never got your call/text or my phone's not working. Crap. They got it alright but just did not want to respond. Whenever you speak to them do they suck you in with a limited chat about you before spending the next three hours talking about themselves? This is another classic tactic. When you ask them for a second of there time they are always busy or say i will get back to you and you are still waiting. You are being played. If you are always there for them and you get nothing back it's time to walk away and be strong as all relationships must be two way no matter what. if someone truly values you they will find the time, make the effort top be there for you and if they can't they offer something at a better time for them no matter what. Don't allow yourself to be fobbed off. Do you ever challenge them and not agree with them? How did that go? I bet it kicked off world war three with you getting a shit storm of such magnitude that you are the worst person in the world? Good. because you are doing something right. What these people want is to made to feel special no matter what and need people kissing there backsides to make them feel better. Don't that makes it worse and you certainly don't want ot be a part of that because you are better than that. The only way to see these things is to observe the person in question then ask yourself is this relationship really right for me. I am benefiting from it, do they bring me happiness, is it equal. Because life is to short to be put on hold for another person. If you are feeling uneasy about them ask yourself why and take action to prevent yourself being made to feel in anyway, shape or form undervalued, under appreciated and even worse begging for there attention. You are much better than that and you deserve much more than you are currently getting. As a bigger guy i have always needed to try really hard to be fitter and healthier hence why i go to the gym three times a week and play five a sides but the one thing that struck me was. How come we as a society believe that going to the gym, playing sports or even classes are enough to keep us fit and healthy. The shocking answer is no it's not not even close. Don't get me wrong being active plays a major role in the emotional, physical and mental well being of everybody but there is one more important factor that people forget or simply don't know about. That is your food intake. Speaking to many dieticians, nutritionists and personal coaches/trainers they all agree on one factor that a six pack is made in the kitchen. which poses an even bigger problem here. How many people actually know that? What is the point in doing zumba, yoga, spin/rpm classes if you are then going to eat the worst possible foods. I feel the problem lies within our actually education and understanding of food as a whole. Food is in it's simplest form an energy which the body requires to help it function. Too much it stores it as fat too little and then you have no energy at all but far scarier then that both of these things are very harmful to you. As human beings we are genetically dispositioned as to where you store your own body fat. So to lose fat from one part of the body you need to concentrate on all the body to target the fat loss. Doing a hundred sit ups in an effort to shed belly fat will never ever work. You need to work the core muscles as a whole to target the belly fat exercises such squats, lunges, planks are the way to target it but how many of you know that? I read a slimming article about what foods to eat to make you thin and listen to this. Never ever eat fatty foods as they never ever fill you up. Seriously? Are you mental? How many people here have eaten an avocado or say some pate did you fill full or not? For some very strange reason we as a society are carb-centic as a diet but how many people know that for every 100 grams of carbs you eat you are also eating 25 grams of sugar on top of your RDA (recommended daily allowance) This is why you need to be really careful when consuming carbs. I am not saying don't eat them as they are a major and vital food component for any human being but just be aware of how your body stores it and uses it as energy. If you speak to anyone who really is involved with the health, diet and fitness industries not he diet industry they will tell you that is high protein, medium fats and low carbs as a base level with as much veg as you want not forgetting your water intake. When it comes to activities you will need to alter the calorie intake depending on exertion. So a better understanding of your body, base diet and exertion levels if a far better way of going about been healthier, feeling and looking good instead of restrict yourself by counting calories and denying yourself food. All these points systems, red, green days, juicers and shakes etc etc is a mass scheme to push you in the right direction and yes they work in the short term but what happens when you stop these and eat normal foods again yeah you guessed it you put the weight back on. The key to a healthy body is eating right with no restrictions but being educated about what types of food you eat and when. I came back from the cinema today when the school kids were on there lunch break. So from my vantage point on the top deck of the bus i saw what they were eating for there lunch. Four pack of doughnuts, big bag of doritos, bottles of fizzy juice packed with sugar. The sickening thing is because they are young they can and will burn a lot of that excess energy off but with our society being more and more sedentary. Children do on average two hours a week of gym (physical education) and when they go home it's game consoles, watching television, surfing the internet and you wonder why we have an obesity time bomb on our hands with diabetes the fastest growing health risk in the world. Why as a society are we so lazy as to not know how to cook quick, easy meals which are nutritonally balanced? You know like an omelette with sweet potatoes and fresh greens for example instead of pre packaged food laced with chemicals and additives. The answer no time, work commitments or more accurately bad information about nutrition. The solution in my mind is education about food and fitness which seems to be sadly lacking in our society which will lead us down a path of obesity and major health problems.
I can't tell you how many times i have been told you are a scary men, you freak me out and stop scaring me by people. The reason because i am aware of myself and i trust myself to be guided throughout my life wherever that may take me. Asking for feedback from others in my own mind is a very helping tool in which to aid my understanding as to why people label me and treat me differently. What i have learnt about me being different is hey it's alright to be different. You are who you are and you are doing what you feel benefits you. That is my aim in life to better myself to better understand myself to really help others achieve there goals. The amount of times i have been bullied, ridiculed and put down because of my awareness is terrifying but i can assure you it toughen me up mentally to such an extent it put me on a path in which i can help, guide and heal others which brings me great pleasure. Other people's labels of me doesn't hurt and has little impact on me because there words are a reflection of there own insecurities. I speak to people who are really passionate about something yet they don't follow there desires or dreams because they feat being labelled. I say to them people are always going to judge and label you no matter what so you might as well have some fun doing what you really like to do. So the key to being different is to remember that we are all different and should embrace these differences because that's what sets you apart from them. The role of a leader is to shine and lead by example, have the strength of character to do what is right for them at any time. Have we really lose that ability due to peer pressure and the fear of being labelled different. For me and my life i always look for the positives in all situations and try to achieve a win win situation in everything i do. If you can change your own thinking about yourself and put in place the tools required to really accept ourselves for who we are the world would be a very helpful and loving place instead of the rubbish we are subjected to on a daily basis.
In my life and in my working life i have come across a very interesting topic which for whatever reason has been ridiculed and vilified by society because it has been labelled as selfish, self defeating and just plain wrong. What a load of crap don't believe that whatsoever. What do Socrates, Ptolemy, Isaac Newton, Einstein, Nikola Tesla, Da Vinci, Michaelangelo, Mozart, Beethoven and Ghandi etc etc all have in common? They are all the greatest thinkers, pioneers and inventors in the history of humans but all had a secret. The secret was being able to withdraw into self and think for themselves and create there reality through there ability to think in terms of self. They all did not fit in to the convention of society but guess what that's alright because they never fitted in they made major leaps forward for the sake of humankind. These people all had the strength of character and mental toughness that comes from within self to stand alone and make a real difference at a time when knowledge was almost a dirty word. As a individual you spend the most amount of time with yourself then any other but why are we so uncomfortable with ourself? We go about trying to please everyone else in the hope that they will return the gesture and make you feel better within yourself. WRONG. That will never work. Ever. Give because you want to give not to receive back. The key here is to be completely comfortable with who, what you truly are which means yes being truly and brutally honest about who you truly are on your own. The biggest steps you can make is learning to trust yourself and being those qualities out into the physical world and be a leader and someone who people look up to. The danger of this process is you will lose people from your life who simply will not understand and or relate to but that's alright as well because they will be replaced by people who will and do believe in you. I feel it's better to walk alone then people making you feel lonely. The problem with all the biggest thinkers is they are labelled by society as mad, crazy, loonies etc etc but the difference is and was they look at him because he is different but he looks at them thinking you are all the same. You know what it's alright to be a dreamer, a thinker and a flake if you will but as long as you are comfortable with who you truly are you will change not only your own thinking but change for the better your whole world externally which is a very scary thought but i can assure you a very rewarding experience.
The key to trying to achieve this process of being comfortable within yourself is a simple process but to execute it is very difficult because you are in essence changing your whole world from the inside out and yes it takes time to prefect maybe even a whole life time and beyond but it starts with a small step. Number One. Identify your weaknesses. People can only hurt through exposure of your weaknesses. so making peace with your fears and weaknesses strengthens you more than you could ever imagine. Number Two. Patience. It will take time to change your thinking and processes Number Three. Make mistakes. But more importantly learn from them. Number Four. Recognise and accept that you are perfect to begin with but due to outside influences you changed to adapt to them and forsook who you truly are. Number Five. Don't be afraid to start again. If you hit a brick wall for example don't look at it as a failure because it's not. It's one step closer to your goal. Number Six. Have faith within yourself. Other people's opinion can actually be poison to your own thoughts as they are not you and don't know what and where you are going. Number Seven. Have fun and have a laugh as life is very serious at the best of times so having a giggle is really important. Now of course i am not saying you are going to conquer the world like the people mentioned above but you will change the most important part of your own life by allowing you to grow and learn through the empower of self belief because once you have that the world is quite literally your oysters. In my experiences of my clients during count less readings this word has cropped up numerous times to refer to a love so strong and powerful to justify why a person will stay with another no matter how much pain, suffering and downright nasty terms and conditions are involved with the dynamics of the relationships. The real reason i bring this up is highlight the flaw in the argument and the flaw within our perception of the word soul mates in the first place.
First of all the term soul mate does not in my opinion refer to just one person it refers to a person of a certain vibrational frequency one which we are a part of at that period in our lives but the danger is very clear we are always evolving as people due to experiences, circumstances etc etc. The term in my opinion should be called soul group because there are many people at the same time emitting the same vibrational frequency. Second of all when it comes to love in a romantic sense it should be easy and at times very simplistic to fully let the couple evolve both individually and collective as a couple. Of course during the course of any relationship there will be arguments and fall outs but these are essential in order to both grow again individually and as a couple. My main concern of the word is when as i stated in paragraph one when it's used to cause emotional and mental distress. There are 6 billion people of this planet and we are holding on to one specific person based on a word in my mind is wrong on all levels. On most calls they say i can't imagine my life without them, they make my life complete and my happiness is all centred around them. They are my soul mate i am meant to be with them. So i highlight the key issues to them to help them see the bigger problem in an effort to liberate them. You are for example dating a married person and the have promised to leave there partner for you and they said this four years ago so i say do you believe them and automatically they recite all the excuses given to them by partner. No that is fine i respect you are in love with them but come on you are better than that and you need to see that your happiness in not connect with another whatsoever. What is really going on is a form of manipulation and control to service and provide them with security because they are too weak to grow a set of balls to leave there partner. If they are truly soul mates why is there always a million excuses as to why it can't happen? If you truly desire something with all your heart you will move mountains to make it happen no matter what so don't settle for second best because you are better than all the crap you are giving and yes you do deserve happiness and love in return to all your efforts. Do allow yourself to give without receiving in a committed relationship. Of course we give because we want to give and we don't want anything in return but that does not give the other person the right to take take and take and give nothing back. Love and life really is that simple. It should never be made more complicated and complexed because of love or worst than that a word called Soul Mates. Number One. Focus
Number Two. Determination Number Three. Motivation Number Four. No Ego Number Five. Education Number Six. Flexibility Number Seven. Making Mistakes Number Eight. Be Realistic Number Nine. Commitment Number Ten. Ownership The key to creating your dreams is remember this one simple yet very powerful tool. It's I against I in the whole process. To quote the Wolf Of Wall Street Jordan Belfort the only thing standing between you and your goals is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it. What a really good point Jordan states here. When we have an impulse or desire to do something we first of all think to ourselves yeah i really like the sound of that but when we try to implement our dreams into a physical reality we give up due to many factors primarily outside factors. You can't do that because insert what ever crappy reasons your friends give you. the saddest and most destructive factor is we give up far too easily because we need to invest time, patience, discipline, motivation and will power to obtain our goals. Oh we can't do that because we all want instant success. Now the most common dreams are too be thinner, healthier, richer, bigger house, better job etc etc. The reasons you did not achieve them? The answer is simply YOU. The way you think, act and immerse yourself within the dream will determine it's success and transform the dream into reality. talking about myself i have low self esteem and low self confidence and i felt i would never achieve anything because i felt i was not good enough to have anything but what i learnt was it was all in my mind preventing me from being where i needed to be. The other observation i have found is no one really knows what they want in life all they really know is what they don't want in there lives major difference is it not? The key to achieving your dreams and goals is learning to have faith and belief in yourself for what we really want out of our lives. Be ourselves not what other want us to be. Our success in life are determined by us not anyone else. This one is a post closest to my heart because like everyone on this planet we have all at some point in time been lied to and in some cases deliberately which causes us so much emotional and mental distress. Which makes us question what we need to do to ever move forward with or without that liar in our lives. The key thing to remember with the liar and the lie in the first place is that it's not and never will be a reflection of you at all. It's a reflection of them and the lengths they will go to perpetuate the lie. A cover if you will. the key to spotting the lie or liar is all about your observations and listening skills.
Number One. Keep an eye and ear pout for inconsistencies in the story. Does the story and details change or alter every time it is discussed Number Two. Asking unexpected questions about there story. When a liar concocts there lie the rehearse it a million times in there own head and are prepared for the usual questions. So by asking link or related to the lie but not a key question could force them into contradicting themselves thus exposing them Number Three. If you know the liar very well you will already know there base level of emotions and all emotional responses of by heart. Have they changed? Are they calmer, angrier, gossiping more, bad mouthing people in an effort to distract you. Number Four. Are there responses and emotions robotic, insincere and rehearsed Number Five. Listening to your gut and heart, instincts and intuition Number Six. Observe the initial expressions before there mind kicks in to make them remain calm and emotionless. These are very subtle and very hard top detect as they happen in a split second. Your body will always react three to four seconds ahead of your brain giving you a valuable window to spotting the lie Number Seven. Look for contradictions and changes of opinion. Number Eight. Do you feel suddenly uneasy around sensing that they have changed and you don't know why? Number Nine. Over elaboration over the smallest details and information. Number Ten. Head movements Number Eleven. Covering up vulnerable body parts such as mouth, lips, nose chest etc etc Number Twelve. Shuffling and having fidgety feet. Number Thirteen. Blinking and eye contact. Whether over blinking, not looking at you or looking away, down past you no making any eye contact at all or plain old staring right at you are signs. But remember this is a guide line not an exact science on how to observe and spot a lie or liar. It;s a very difficult thing to have to deal with because your mind, body and spirit is screaming to you that they are lying but with a simple observation stated above could bring you all the evidence you need to be one step ahead. But be warned this is not to be used to hurt, blackmail or play with anybody's head as that is moral wrong and you are better than that. this is a guideline top gauge whether you want this liar in your life going forward so in a word. Liberation. During a recent conversation with a good and lovely female friend of mine a point was made to about what do men find attractive about females. Now this is a very interesting topic. Women you see are socially trained by the media and the diet industries to believe skinny is best that you need hundreds of pounds worth of cosmetics, hair products and fake tan etc etc a month to look and feel the best because of this women are programmed to think starving yourself while being creosoted with fake tan and pouting in pictures looking like a duck sucking on a lemon is a good look. I have news for you females. Guys hate it with a passion. What guys look for in a women is class, confidence, humility, curves and the ability and confidence to wear next to no make up. A smile is far sexier look on a women than a pouting mouth that looks like you are sucking on an exhaust pipe. So confidence and being comfortably in your own skin without the constant need for reassurance is a requirement. When a guy gets asked does my bum look big in this or does this top make me look fat? How does a guy answer that without getting his head punched in? A guy likes and loves you for more than your physical appearance (oh shock horror we are not all shallow) We are not attracted top stick thin women who does not eat, wears far too much fake tan and slaps there make up on with a trowel. Now look at the media today. You have all these images of 'celebs'. The most dangerous thing is that they are all photo shopped to make them look perfect which is just plain wrong. How many women on this planet have wrinkles, cellulite, stretch marks and a bit of fat? PPSSSTTTT. Guys love that about you. That's how a women should look. Ask any guy who they find attractive. I bet it differs massively from what a women will say. Women think Cheryl Cole guys think Beyonce. Why? Because she is a motherly type with curves, who eats real food, is always understated with her dress sense and make up. So from my own point of view and from a larger male perspective. Women are beautiful because they are not perfect, because they are insecure, because they are vulnerable and most of all we love you because you try. The world is complexed enough without people trying too hard. just be yourself and more importantly accept yourself for who you are.
This is a quick and effective method which is very easy to do and you can do it at any time of the day whether that's at work, the gym, the shops whatever you are doing. First of all the technical part. The key to understanding the chakras is important. Everything we do as humans has an energetic imprint upon the body. So any thoughts, ideas, emotions and feelings that we encounter leaves an imprint in us on a very deep sub atomical level. After a long enough time and exposure to these these factors your chakras can and will become blocked up and not function properly. The dangers with these blockages is that they create physical symptoms such as colds, flus, viruses and generally make you run down. The key to a healthy thoughts, ideas, emotions and feelings is to deal with them as and when they crop up. Don.t put them to the side or suppress them because what you are doing is storing deep within your body and in time the same issues will resurface forcing you to deal with them at a later time. So to help combat this process and can cleanse/clean your chakras.
First of all. Think of your body as a pyramid with the base being the biggest, most important part of your body. The foundation if you will. The stronger the foundation the stronger your vitality and energy levels. The more secure your foundation is the healthier in general you will feel. Now the fun part. This is just a guideline it's up to the individual which method suits them the most but just remember patience is the key. This is a medium to long term method but the rewards are fantastic. It will take you five minutes a day with one colour per day until such time you can visualise all the colours together to form a rainbow. Root. Visualise the colour RED Navel/Sacral. Visualise the colour Orange Solar Plexus. Visualise the colour Yellow Heart. Visualise the colour Green Throat. Visualise the colour Light Blue Third Eye. Visualise the colour Dark Blue Crown. Visualise the colour Indigo Because the root is the biggest chakra point within the body it will take longer to cleanse and clear. The more balanced the preceding chakra becomes the less time it will require to cleanse it. A word of warning though. Unblocking your chakras can and will create physical side effects i am afraid (talking from experience here) Because they have been blocked you will have to remove the old energy first allowing you to usher in the newer/fresher energies in. During this period you will possibly have flu like symptoms ranging from head aches, ear aches, mental or brain fog and normal than usual energy levels. This is normal and will pass in due course. Once they have passed you will be firing on all cylinders and having a positive impact on yourself, others and everything you put your mind, body and spirit into. Good luck if you wish to try it. As it's not everyone's cup of tea. One of the most frequent questions i get asked in my working life is from women desperate trying to figure out and understand men and there motives. The solution for this question is very simple but implementing it for use in daily life for a women is very tough because of social programming and the way a women's mind works. The key is for the women to simply the process right back to it's basic and most simplistic form. Men are not complexed or complicated at all. Women are programmed to think, feel and analyse by social pressures which always gets them into an even more confused state which is a real shame. To understand men and his thought process is to ask him directly, bluntly and straight to the point questions and i promise you you will get straight answers back. Women drop hints, cryptic messages in the hope a man will understand them. That is mistake number one. Take flirting for example. This is a goldmine of observations in how to over complicate the simplest process. Women use body language and gestures to flirt. Guys don't and never will. If a guy likes a girl he makes a move and tells her with words. No crap. No nonsense. A women will flirt, smile, use a lot gestures but no words and that's why you fail. Women think they are being too obvious but in reality you are not being obvious enough because of this you feel rejected and give up which is a major shame because you are left in no man's land (no pun intended) not having any idea if the man is interested. Seriously you have to go up to a guy and tell him to get a response. Men's thinking is direct, straight and gets right to the point. A female's is more curved and likes to have a memory blueprint in which to refer back to so in essence leaves a guy scratching his head thinking what are you on, are you nuts or playing a game. Driving him further away from you. The second mistake female's make is getting a second opinion from other males totally forsaking your own judgement and intuition about tour own thoughts, feelings and emotions which is painful to see from my own point of view as you have no idea how close you actually are to understanding, dating or moving forward with the guy in the first place. You gut instinct is never ever wrong but we always doubt it.
So in essence. Guys are blunt, honest and straight to the point with there thoughts, feelings and emotions, don't doubt that because are not complexed when it comes to these factors. I will reveal a major secret to you. Which will prove inspirational to you in due course. Never ever no matter what ask a guy what he is thinking about. I know women think it will bring you two closer together by sharing thoughts but seriously women guys don't think that way at all and when we say what is really on our minds you take great offence thinking we are being insensitive. We are not. We don't think like you at all. So to understand a man think like a man. Which is blunt, direct and straight to the point. Do this and all your relationships with all men in your life will improve dramatically overnight. I get asked quite a lot how do i handle a person who is angry, upset and determined to argue with you? Although it's a very sensitive subject matter it makes people feel really awful having to deal with a form of aggression and not knowing how to handle to it. Unfortunately there is no right or wrong in these situations as it's a spur of the moment thing. The way you react is the key to not getting sucked in and thus trying top diffuse the situation. I feel the key to diffusing any sort of turmoil or argument is to observe the other person and to listen not to reply but listen to understand the other person's point of view. There point of view is the key for us to understand why they do/say what they do. Trying to ask questions as to why they feel, say or do what they do will hopefully plant a seed in there mind which in turn will make them reflect on there own outbursts. The other person is showing all there pent up emotions which unfortunately need to be released but just in a more controlled and passive manner. The biggest danger you will encounter is trying to remain calm, at peace and not allowing yourself to get embroiled in there dramas. This is a horrible situation to get involved and one which makes us feel backed into a corner but knowing how to handle it will allow you to avoid them in the first place or remaining calm to let yourself get away from the person all together until the anger has been dealt with.
Number One. Observation of the other person Number Two. What are there trigger points which creates there outbursts Number Three. Ask yourself how do i impact and improve the conversation |
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